Monday, February 18, 2013

Family Life Weekend-to-Remember Marriage Conference

At the very last minute, I was able to secure free conference tickets, book hotel reservations through our time share, arrange childcare for 5 kids (and 2 dogs) at 3 different houses, and get a substitute for my Core Group for Bible study. I began the process on Tuesday morning, and on Wednesday evening, the final pieces came through.

So, Friday morning, thinking everything was in place, I headed off with Brian for a work meeting in Annandale, which I though ended at 10:30, but actually started at 10:00. I waited at a Starbucks cafe inside of Safeway for about an hour, and checked in with work. Then, I got the idea that I might need some candles and other "goodies" for the weekend (thanks for the reminder, Patty).

Thinking all was well and we would be on the road by noon, I was about to find out that today would be one of those days that (hopefully) we would look back on and laugh, but at the moment it was about to become a "terrible, horrible, no-good, very-bad, day."

The childcare plan was originally as follows:
Sam (10), Dennis (10) and Ashley (12) & 2 dogs with Jamie (who is this wonderful person you ask?)
Amanda (9) at her friend Liv's house
Amber (16) with Dan and Cherith, being picked up from our bus stop

As I met Brian for lunch at 12:30 he informed me that Amber had called from the nurse's office at school, and left him a voice mail saying she had a tummy ache and didn't think she could ride the bus home. We had already left a mildly-sick Dennis, who hadn't been to school in 3 days with Jamie, who assured us that a low grade fever and lack of desire to eat wouldn't be any problem for her to take care of for a few days (with the help of big sister Ashley of course).

Now with 2 kids sick, we began to think about whether or not we could actually get away this weekend. I was determined that after all the planning that this took, and that we REALLY needed a weekend away, that we needed to brainstorm the options. The plan for her weekend included movies on Friday night and a trip to DC on Saturday (snow flurries in the forecast). Knowing that wasn't going to work, I contacted her house parents for the weekend to see if they could/would be able to change their plans - the answer was no. So, now what?

Jamie, the treasure that she is, said that a sick Amber wouldn't be any problem for her. Our issues with this was that Amber and Ashley are like cats and dogs - get along great at times, but cat fights can ensure at any moment, usually the cat being the victor. Jamie assured us that she could handle it.

Still quite unsure if we should go, we proceeded with caution, and now traffic, as it was nearing 1:30pm -  we would have to decide to move forward or return home in the next 30 minutes.

Earlier in our trip we had heard the car making some noises, but a pull off alongside the road revealed nothing, so we carried on. At this point, however the noise became obvious that something was quite wrong. We had to pull into a parking lot. Brian discovered that the front end of his sports car had come ajar and part of it was flapping in the wind and scraping against the ground as we increased speed. He needed a screw driver, which we didn't have. He took a little walk to find one while I received a call back from the school nurse about Amber's condition.

The nurse said it didn't seem too serious and that Amber had pizza for lunch and returned to class. She said she talked to Amber and that her tummy couldn't hurt too much if she was eating pizza for lunch. She said that Amber stated she was excited about the weekend, but was missing us. (Amber had given dad a hard time for the previous several days and got her phone taken away due to poor attitude, which was likely the cause of "missing us.) I asked her to give Amber a note that her plans had changed for the weekend, and she would be going to Jamie's after school instead. I told her to have Amber call me if she got upset with the news.

Finally back on the road, we were in stop and go traffic in Dumfries (hadn't gotten very far), and I realized that the gas light was on (Brian was driving). I was now in full on panic mode that we were going to run out of gas in this traffic and get rear ended on the freeway! I began to breathe deeply to try to relief the stress and said, "Well, at least we have Triple A."

Traffic still at a virtual stand-still, we see the accident causing the back up, and finally get to the next exit to get gas. The gas station is across multiple lanes of heavy traffic, but we manage to get there, only to find that we have to drive in circles to get to it, as we took the wrong turn. Tears of relief about to break free from my eyes, we pulled into the gas station.

About 3:00 Amber calls. We are sitting in stop and go traffic near the military base, which is typical anyway, but Friday afternoon traffic out of DC toward the beach is always really bad. She says she is fine and wants to go with Cherith. I had to tell her that she told us she is so sick that she wasn't sure if she could take the bus, that we had to re-arrange the plans. I had to tell her that calling us to say she was sick meant that she couldn't go to DC in the old weather, or stay out late at the movies on a Friday night. (Maybe next time she'll be more cautions before telling us she's "sick.") We were however, relieved to know that she wasn't sick, so we didn't feel as bad as we had previously, thinking we were leaving 2 sick kids behind.

Brian had to stop to check in with work, and I had a milkshake, but we finally made it to VA Beach about 6:50pm (conference to start at 7pm). But we needed to eat and Brian had to check in with work again. No time to check into the hotel first, so we headed right over to the conference center and joined the conference about 7:45pm.

The session lasted until about 9:30, and then imagine about 400 couples trying to exit the parking lot all at the same time. It was after 10pm before we finally got to the hotel (about 15 miles away right on the beach). Then we made the mistake of trying to get dinner reservations for the following night. Brian decided he wanted to check on YELP to see what was the best places in town to eat. Nothing had reservations available  or they didn't take them. About 11:15pm I gave up and just got ready for bed - Saturday morning was due to start at 8:30am!! Brian continued to seek out reviews and call around to make reservations, to no avail.

I set my phone alarm to get up at 6am to be sure we'd have enough time to get ready and find a place to eat a descent breakfast before needing to arrive by 8:30am - I guess they figure that most couples are already sleep deprived, so what's one more night of missing sleep?!? :)

As "alumni" having been to a previous conference (this was our 3rd) we received a different manual from the first-timers. This manual included new projects, so as not to repeat the same things we'd done before. Other than the "love letter" project, I honestly don't remember what projects we'd done before.

Dessert @ Ruby Tuesday's
(lunch break on Saturday)
Saturday night was date night, but we didn't have dinner reservations, and it was snowing - Yes, snowing in VA Beach. Not just snowing, but large wet blobs of snow, flying at wind speeds that would blow your hat off if you weren't holding onto it tightly! It was only 4:30 when we left the conference center, so we headed back to the hotel to try to get dinner reservations and rest for a bit. Finding nothing on TV and no PPV to rent, we turned on my laptop and watched a movie on Amazon instant download.



We headed out to dinner about 8-ish and went to Waterman's about a mile from the hotel (yes we drove, not walked that far in the snow). The view of the ocean was awesome, and I'd forgotten how much I missed the beach from my youth (grew up on the Pacific Coast). Food was bland and not prepared overly well either. We were seated near the back door, which for the life of me I cannot figure out why people kept opening it to go out onto the beach in the freezing cold and windy snow blowing in their faces. I watched the woman who was 2 tables down right by the door freeze her butt off during dinner. Not sure why she didn't complain enough to get moved to a better table.

Deciding we needed sleep more than the morning workshops, we opt'd NOT to set a wake up alarm on the phone and would just play it by ear as to if we went to the final  hours of the conference on Sunday morning. Some difficult conversations that needed to take place finally happened about 11pm, and there was a project to complete - I think we got to sleep no sooner than 1:30am. So much for getting any sleep this weekend.

After packing, checking out of the hotel, and having breakfast at IHop, we decided we could make it to the last session of the morning (missed the woman only man only sessions). We arrived just as the break was ending, and browsed the books, bought some, and ordered the game Spouse-opogy.

The lessons in the final session were necessary for the 4 post-conference projects, so I was glad that we made it. We also filled out the conference surveys. Then, the big finale - there was a vow-renewing ceremony, with over 500 couples they said were in attendance. They also gave us a giant certificate to take home with us to display. I was able to get it signed by one of the conference speakers as well.

Fortunately the ride home was uneventful. We did get some more "conversations" in ... ones that are difficult to have with 5 kids around. I felt like the conference was good, but difficult at the same time. In the end I marked on the survey that we went from a 4 to a 6 on the scale ... we still have a lot of work to do, but I'd call that pretty successful.

M-

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Father Daughter Dance 2013


Dad & the girls at church
Amanda and some friends in the photo booth


Amanda Princess
Ashley ... being Ashley!


Amber Baby!

View the rest of our fun on facebook: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10200554973418269.200111.1276629484&type=3